Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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