hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
