I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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