You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
