He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Who died my cat blue again?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
