If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
