that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
