Don't you send me to vm
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
