Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
