also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
