IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize