I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
