MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
