Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
