He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
