why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
