I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
