do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
