When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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