So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
