Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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