Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
