so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Terrible idea I love it
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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