okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
