ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
it was like eating out sand paper
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize