What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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