She's JV to your varsity
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
