it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Is it because I queefed?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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