I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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