Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
