Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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