Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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