the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
