You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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