We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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