all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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