I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
