I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
