She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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