Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Randomize
