I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
