I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
