my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
