I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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