dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just want nice things and good sex
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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