dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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