Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
