so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Rumble strips road head = magical
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
