her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
