I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I think people are normalizing furries
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize