If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
