The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
