Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
