this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
