How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
