Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize