This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize