honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
