his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
