Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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