He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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