so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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