just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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