don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize