What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
