the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize