I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
