I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
