I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize