I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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