It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
