i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
