i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You took a bar mat shot.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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