it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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