I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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