Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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