Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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