I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
What a dumb baby whore.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
