If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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