I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize