i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
