yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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