holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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