The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
