are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
