You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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