how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
